you are what you think about most

So I am pushing back today's sewing sleepy time tip because there is something much more important I need to write about.  I'll be back on Monday with my report of the race (with this injured leg!) and formally introduce you to my new Sleepy Time Gal Flickr Group!  Sit back on this one post and get ready to read. IMG_2044

Many things have brought me to writing this post.  Many of you readers, many of you friends in our conversations, and most intimately, myself.

I recently met a mother in the park.  In an email to me she wrote,

I'd love to be.... supermom.  I have issues trying to get by and I'm only the stay-at-home-mom of one.  I tend to feel overwhelmed, indecisive and stressed much of the time.  And that doesn't help accomplish much...

Reading that hurt my heart, the same way it hurts when I feel those feelings.  I realized in empathizing with her how real our daily battle is as mothers in a fast paced, high pressured, "super-mom" mentality world.  This battle, ironically, isn't with these high expectations but with ourselves. Our minds.

How easy it is for me to look at others and wish I were them, in their shoes, had it easier, were more put together like them.  How easy it is to start that seed of second guessing my choices, my decisions, my strengths, my confidence because I see someone excelling.  How easy it is to forget the things that I'm confident in because I'm distracted by someone else's strengths.

Fear, worry, inadequacy, doubt, competition. These thoughts we allow ourselves to believe in our minds.  These thoughts if allowed will stifle progress, stifle confidence, and stifle peace in ourselves.

How far can we go in life if we compare ourselves to others' unrealistic expectations and always find ourselves coming up short?  What great things can we contribute to the world, to our little children, if we don't stop the negative, destructive thoughts in our mind??

Women, I would ask you to examine what conversations you allow in your mind. Do you allow fear, inadequacy, doubt and worry?  You can actually remove these thoughts that are keeping you from your full potential.

Try this. Decide right now that when you begin to think those thoughts (which kill progress and confidence) you will force yourself to, first, recognize it.  After you recognize it, train yourself to:

  • find something truthful and positive about yourself to replace those thoughts
  • give yourself credit for how far you've come in your life with your experiences
  • pick something positive or hopeful about the situation that caused the destructive thoughts
  • recognize that everyone is struggling with something in their lives
  • immediately look for creative solutions to solve your problem and avoid playing the victim
  • see yourself as a powerful creature that can move mountains if only you can control your thoughts

There is so much I want for my life and my family's life.  I try hard to be and do what I want.  I succeed with things and I fail with things.  I daily evaluate what works and what doesn't and try to only let myself build on the negative in my life.  I've learned that the moment I dwell on my destructive thoughts I begin to stop moving forward.  If I can recognize those thoughts upon thinking them I can immediately redirect that energy.

We are powerful people that have a great work to do in this world.  Decide what you want for yourself, your family, and your life and start living it without looking around you at what others or the world say you can do.  Use your frustrating weaknesses and moments of discouragement only to improve what you're working towards.

I feel a great need to empower women to stop looking around them and start living. Be everything you've dreamed of being, even if life is difficult with being a mother and all of the responsibilities that follow on the homefront.  Make your dreams happen and love who you are becoming.

the sleepy time gal