seeing myself

{I can't believe it--I was on Apartment Therapy's Ohdeedoh blog yesterday for the girl's room!  I was totally surprised!} IMG_1623

Something that is really hard for me to accept is that I can't do it all.  I fight the contradiction of a home in order and having many young children in that same home, day in and day out.  I'm learning to pick and choose what matters most in each moment.  Sometimes it is emptying the dishwasher, other times it is reading Night Train with Ainsleigh and Annabelle, sharing my lap for the 10th time in a day.

I guess real mothering means being so intune to your surroundings that you're always where you should be, when you should be there.  That makes sense.  Those are the moments that I feel the most fulfilled not just as a mother, but as a woman.

IMG_1670

Encouraging exploration for my children means dropping the chores sometimes and running through the grass with them.

IMG_1719 IMG_1694

Real mothering means watching closely for the things that make your child smile, for the things that make them thrive.  And then replicating those experiences.

IMG_1652

IMG_1757

I am slowly realizing how singular this moment of my life is raising young children.  How long will they need and rely on me this way?  I am the lucky one that is introducing them to the world that will be theirs.  Is there anything more important?

IMG_1683

IMG_1642

I see myself so much better through them.  Motherhood hasn't held me down as society often portrays.  It has made more of me.  It has pushed me more in the things I'm passionate about, it has motivated and enlarged my abilities.  I've done things I never knew I could do.  And motherhood continues to push me doing those courageous, totally crazy things...

How has motherhood made you more?