one simple question: do I want this?



"The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity."

James Hightower

In recently sharing some of the changes taking place in our household lately, one significant change has been my daily schedule or plan for the day.

Usually I change up my daily schedule format when it begins to feel too restrictive.  Sometimes the change goes from maintaining my day/week's plan on my iPad calendar to keeping my plan/goals using a big legal notepad.

Lately, though, how I plan (or don't plan) and see my upcoming days and weeks has changed at a deeper, philosophical level.


Let me back up.

I've recently come out of a "dark period" as I call it.  The past few months or so have been very intense with doubts, introspection, questions for myself--and God--about what really makes me happy, and what I deeply want for my life and our family's life.  And, most importantly, would I willing, confident, and strong enough to do what I feel strongly about--despite pressure to be someone I am not...

As this "dark period" (which has required unbelievable patience and faith) has recently come to a close with gradual light at the end of the tunnel, I have felt the clarity I've so desperately needed.  I've received just enough of that light and clarity to move forward with confidence and strong conviction towards my own personal direction.

And I see what I was intended to do in this life: live life with passion towards the most exciting goals for me + my family.

Needless to say, I've definitely shifted my approach, my focus, of each new day as my "bigger life picture" feels safe to chase.


It all comes down to one simple question I ask myself when I write my (now shorter) task list each day and when I make many of the decisions my day:

"Do I really want to do this? " 

In other words,

"Is this getting me closer to my most important goals or just using up my precious time?

Am I doing this for someone else's agenda, because I feel pressure, guilt, etc.?"


If I'm courageous enough, I will only have the most important tasks, goals, and activities in my life.  That means constantly weeding out the "good things" for the "best things".  That means constantly asking myself, "Am I feeling peaceful, calm, happy, satisfied, excited for life, and passionate for my path today?"  If the answer is yes (and it is always an empowering, thrilling feeling when it is yes) then I move forward, shutting off the temptation to feel any ounce of doubt and fear.

If the answer is no, I either scratch it off my list/schedule or if it is larger than a scheduled event, begin making plans to remove it from my life, a little at a time if necessary.


I know after you've read this you may be feeling that tug on your heart, that unsettled feeling about at least one thing in your life right now.  Maybe something on your schedule today or this weekend.  Perhaps something that takes up your time weekly, monthly, that isn't giving you the return on investment like you'd hoped.


Be honest with yourself.  Take those uneasy feelings towards that one thing and make one change.  Lessen the frequency of an activity.  Politely decline from an activity/program/event and use that free time for something that truly gets you excited.  Look for an alternative--which may require a lot of creativity and brainstorming--towards something that gives you a better relationship with a spouse, your child, a parent.  Switch out what is getting you nowhere towards your deepest, personal family/individual goals for something that will give you everything you've ever wanted.


I promise the more you rethink the habits in your day/life that you do unthinkingly that aren't satisfying you over and beyond your ideal life, the more your mind will be open and susceptible to new ideas and creating your own path for an incredible life on your unique journey.

Make your life 100% yours.  No regrets.  Live it for you.


the sleepy time gal