new days


 My journal on October 8th, 2012:

There is so much I wish to write and so little time to do it.

 In one week I've experienced every emotion and now in this quiet moment, I find myself tired and yet overcome with peace.


I wasn't ready when my water broke, I wasn't ready mentally to meet this little boy or to take my mind off of the busyness of my current life and schedule.  I was bitter and emotionally unprepared last Tuesday night.


Contractions and the intensity of labor changed that.  The speed of Pitocin in my veins and its effects changed that.  And in an instant, pushing with everything I had changed that.


And there he was: the boy that has, in a handful of days, made clear to me the absolute beauty and meaning to my existence at this very moment.  He came into the world and has wiped clean the daily tasks of this woman and her plans and her aspirations and put himself right in the middle.  And there he has been since last week, softening my heart, slowing my step, and showing me how everything revolves around family.


He has entered my life and changed it more than any other child.  I kiss his small warm head often and savor it.  These are new days for me...