because of him



This morning, I tried to sleep in just a little longer, but Rowan wouldn't have it.  He cooed and reached and sucked on everything I could hand him from the nightstand.  "Enough with sleep--I'm ready to explore!" he seemed to say with his morning melody of sputtering and spurts next to me.

I don't think I've ever really written in this space how much I love Rowan.  I think because I understand what it means to be a mother and what it means to be blessed with a child makes the fifth and first son absolutely incredible.  I love to just stare into his big blues and wonder what in the world he thinks about this family.  I love to play with his toes now that they are out daily.  I love running my fingers through his mohawk of one big curl on top and wonder what he'll look like in a few years.

I love him.



And I'm not the only one.  Who would have thought that the seat next to Rowan's carseat in the car would become the "honorary seat" fought over daily.  And that daily tasks would be done in a matter of seconds to then be able to "hold Wowan."  Each of my girls feels for their brother as if he is royalty and it is their responsibility to share it with the world, strangers in grocery stores and all.

I see how much I've changed as a mother with each child and sometimes wish I could start all over with number one with my present experience.  But this is life--trial, error, learning, and maturation.  This morning as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked back into my bedroom to where the squeals were coming from I saw Rowan's chubby legs kicking in the air and thought that life doesn't get much better than this.


the sleepy time gal